A conversation with my Other

My pulse is warm and my anxieties are bellowing with their passion. I reveal myself the aristocratic fiction of an alter-ego driven by the half-shut and blase eyes of artistic deliberation. Neal Cassady points out to this corruption of one's fundamental nature when he speaks of art to spring from necessity, and that nothing else could guarantee it's value.

My thoughts were racing past the grasp of my conscience. If I cannot full understand my own view, hold on there spectator, I got a story to fuck the perception of the consequential awkwardness. And I had stretched one out from a couple of thoughts that I had barely managed to catch. I jumped, I danced, I cried, I shrieked with laughter. My loose improvisation did put an experience across, though one that had not happened before but one which I created the very moment. It takes an awful lot of awareness for your hysteria to progress and for it to be comprehensible even to you, especially to you. I was in a trance of furious excitement, mad fury raging in every fiber of my body, my only liability being, in the socially pragmatic sense at least, that I was overcome by it. I conceived an alternate reality, out of my poor memory. My feeling was so immense that I believed it myself. So much that I was no longer capable of distinguishing between my real and my surreal state of existence. Like Tagore classical dilemma between who he pretends to be and who he really is, I am humiliated at my denial of its incomprehension. My difference shames me for I secretly beg for it.

Ginsberg was howling in my ears hysterical cries of decadent lives and Tagore's piercing eyes widened so huge a gaze burdening me with a realization of the heaps of clothes shadowing my flesh, clothes worn presumptuously in an air of pretence. I was wearing clothes when all I wanted live was without them.

I ONLY WANT TO BE NAKED. Nothing more, nothing less.

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

i am possessed.